It's Not as Bad as You Think

By: Shiva Sharma

Made by Mirek Kuzniar - https://fineartamerica.com/featured/grandpa-with-grandson-mirek-kuzniar.html

When I was younger, I always wanted to understand how people went through their lives doing things they were scared of or even nervous about. There must be some magic potion or some spell I could do that would just make me feel better, right? How is it that some people are just never afraid of anything? How is that even possible?

My grandpa was never afraid of anything, and I always wished I could just have an ounce of his courage. I always thought, "Man, if I could be like him, I could do anything.". I'd constantly keep an eye on him, hoping he'd make a mistake. There was something in me that needed to know that I wasn't the only one who was scared, yet he never made a mistake. Eventually, I began to think that I needed to toughen up and that something was wrong with me.

So one day, I had enough and just asked him why he was never afraid, and he laughed. To be honest, I was expecting a serious talk where I would hear a few sentences, and it would essentially be a scene from a movie. I think I watched too many movies growing up, and the movies made me slightly delusional. But when he finished laughing at the question, he just looked at me and said: everyone is afraid of something, and anyone that says they aren't is lying or crazy.

Now I am confused by what he said because I was wondering how everyone else was dealing with things they are afraid of so well? Did I miss some sort of meeting about facing your fears, or did I not watch enough inspirational movies? My grandpa is Indian, so this is a rough translation of what he said, but the essence of the advice he ended up giving me was:

It's okay to be afraid of something if it is far away, but when the obstacle is right in front of you, you have to face it and conquer it with all your strength, or you will be done for.

He said being scared or nervous was a normal thing for everyone. He was scared of small things that were in the distant future, like getting the right gift for my grandma for her birthday. Being scared of something in the future is fine, but when that situation you are scared of is in front of you, you just have to face it and hope for the best. You are already scared and doing nothing won't help your situation, so you really only got one option right? If you let your fears dictate your life then you will end up missing out on more stuff than if you had just acted in the first place.

For some reason, this talk with him has always resonated with me because it showed me that fear is a normal thing to experience; but you can’t have it control your life. Because how do you truly live if you do? Now I am still afraid of small things like asking a girl out or my sister when she’s mad, but I have learned over the years to just dive in headfirst. The things I am afraid of usually are not as bad as the images in my head. I have also realized that I watch way too many movies so that probably feeds into my imagination of the worst outcomes for tasks such as writing this blog post.