"I can hear you"

By Darren Mann

https://theconversation.com/what-types-of-memories-are-forgotten-in-alzheimers-disease-164014

One of the most important skills that I developed when my grandpa was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s was the ability to listen. Despite my grandma attempting to do around-the-clock care in our house, it eventually became too much and so my grandpa was placed in a long-term care facility.

Slowly he began to lose the ability to remember things, and even his mobility began to deteriorate. Ultimately, this caused him great distress and he would look at the door to his room everyday until my grandma came. Although he was often frightened and disoriented in his surroundings, he could always find comfort in the objects we placed around his room. We placed family photos, the names of family members in big bold print with their relationship to him, and objects that reminded him of his favorite past times. Moreover, my grandma went every single day to the facility from 9am to 5pm to ensure that he didn’t feel alone.

I decided to go with my grandma to the facility as much as I could so that we could listen to the stories of the past and reflect on fonder times. Although my grandpa would sometimes repeat the same story, I didn’t care because I could see how much joy he had when he talked. Even when he struggled with a memory, my grandma and I would simply pass him a photograph so that he could try and connect his thoughts to actual people.

My grandpa was hard of hearing and sometimes wasn’t sure if he was talking loud enough. Each and every time my grandma would respond with “I can hear you.” I was very fortunate to be in a class dedicated solely towards Alzheimer’s at the time so that I could explain to my grandma what was happening to his body and mind. Additionally, my grandma and I attempted to ensure my grandpa had as much independence as possible. Even when he lost the ability to feed himself, my grandma and I still made sure that he could express his voice and choose his preferences for foods and liquids. Every time he expressed himself we always replied, “we can hear you.”

Unfortunately, some individuals living in long-term care didn’t have family members who could visit them, and others didn’t have family in the province that could easily visit them. As a result, I would often interact with many of the residents when going with my grandma to visit my grandpa. This created long-lasting friendships where I would sit for hours listening to their experiences, wisdom, and advice. Each of them had a different story to tell and they were from all walks of life. With each interaction I had, I was able to reflect on myself and attempt to challenge myself to be the best version that I possibly could. Although my grandpa passed away recently, I want to continue to volunteer at the long-term care facility to ensure that there is someone to hear the voices of the residents. After all, sometimes the most important thing a person can experience is feeling like they are being heard.